Re: Beaten by the mob

["Bruce Wolf" <bwolf -at- scheidt-bachmann-usa -dot- com>]

BB generally gives good advice.  However,,,,,,,,,,,,,

If I recall my basic and advanced psychology classes correctly, a bully
invariably backs down.  It is the "mind control" aspect of bullying that
gives the bully power.  If a bully can't get you to do what he wants, he
stops.

A bully may threaten a punch.  A bully may throw a punch.  A bully may push.
Respond in kind and the bully will both stop and become very accommodating.

Being a "mommy's boy" has something to do with it, but I don't want to go
there.  I don't remember that part and we are rather far from technical
writing as it is.

Certainly there are some women on this list who've taken self-defense
classes.  Part of the instruction probably included lessons on bullies.  Do
you want to share?

I've learned from experience the problem is misjudging the person.  Nine of
ten people who act like bullies are.  The tenth isn't.  So, I'd recommend
self-defense classes for anyone who plans to stand up to a bully.  When he
bloodies your nose, you'd better be able to bloody his.

;-)

----- Original Message -----
From: "Bruce Byfield" <bbyfield -at- axionet -dot- com>
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Cc: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Sent: Monday, January 13, 2003 1:05 PM
Subject: Re: Beaten by the mob


>
> Jason Willebeek-LeMair wrote:
>
> > There are obvious dangers, as Andrew pointed out, of going off on
bullies.
>
> Based on my own experiences, I have to agree with Andrew.
>
> On my own account, I have to add that all these stories about standing
> up to bullies can be dangerous. They feed the myth that bullies are
> cowards, and will back down if you stand up to them. They also
> perpetuate the idea that, if your cause is good,then you'll naturally win.
>
> Unfortunately, these myths only hold true on prime time TV.
> In fact, most of the time, bullies will only escalate their behavior if
> you fight back. That's true of bullies of all kinds - whether they're
> physical, verbal, legal or executive bullies. Seeing you respond in
> kind, most of them will only become more vicious than ever.
>
> That's not to say that you should never stand-up to bullies. If nothing
> else,sometimes you need to do for your own self-respect. Knuckling under
> once to bullies did me so much psychological damage that I am unlikely
> ever to do so again, even if held at gunpoint (and I say this without
> the least degree of hyperbole, believe me). But I do suggest that, if
> you can plan your stand against a bully, you make sure that you either
> have enough support or clout to make sure that the bully can't retaliate
> - that, or have a rapid exit ready.
>
> --
> Bruce Byfield bbyfield -at- axionet -dot- com 604.421.7177
> http://members.axion.net/~bbyfield
>



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