RE: Beaten by the mob

[JB Foster <jb -dot- foster -at- shaw -dot- ca>]

You have to be very careful about that (what you've said) - Striking back.
When the swinging is over, no one will be able to tell who started it, and
you'll both be quickly out the door (with damaged careers). Also, you'll be
lucky if the police aren't called. I won't mention what would happen if
witnesses (who came to the scene late) report that you may have started it.

Two other things; hitting someone is assault, whether a slap, or punch. And
the person who originally started it, may be mentally unstable; so when you
hit back, that person might bring out a knife (or worse). Then comes the
lawyers, suing you for their client's pain and suffering, regardless of who
started it. So hitting other people back, is not only both socially and
legally unacceptable, it can be financially damaging too.

Most of the bullies that I went to school with, had some 'real' problems
leaning towards violence. Several of them graduated to prison! Road-rage (or
maybe office-rage) is an opposite, but similar, example. Where people don't
plan on harming someone when they wake up. But in order to dominate, loose
control of their emotions, when a minor incidence transpires. These
individuals have been this way since childhood, and may have a prior history
of assault. And how psychopathic an individual might (or may not) be, has
nothing to do with the dangers you face; some people just loose complete
control of what they're doing. And by provoking bullies, you have no idea
what the outcome could be. Also, by yelling back, everyone will hear this.
You will then be seen to have a temper. Good-luck getting a promotion, if
you don't happen to work for the WWF.

Personally, I don't react to what a bully says, or even give in. I will
listen, but when it becomes personal attacks, I end the conversation, and
leave. If attacked, I'd have no problem with calling the police. If it was
my boss, and this is mode of operation, I'd be looking for a new employer. I
also quietly leave the situation when a someone 's eyes widen, and face
becomes flush (has happened to me once).

What I'm saying is that - not everyone just pushes to see if you will push
back ... that's Hollywood stuff! You can never tell what goes on in the mind
of a bully, unless you know them intimately well.  Someone who is depressed,
or under severe stress, may initially act like a bully; someone sociopath
may act like one; someone with anger-management problems may too (did I miss
any?). By threatening their mental or physical space, you are asking for an
escalation of the confrontation. Also, most people who are angry, and loose,
will go back to their office and plan your demise. In my mind, not worth
seeing if you are the better bully!

Bruce


> If I recall my basic and advanced psychology classes correctly, a bully
> invariably backs down.  It is the "mind control" aspect of bullying that
> gives the bully power.  If a bully can't get you to do what he wants, he
> stops.

> I've learned from experience the problem is misjudging the
> person.  Nine of
> ten people who act like bullies are.  The tenth isn't.  So, I'd recommend
> self-defense classes for anyone who plans to stand up to a bully.  When he
> bloodies your nose, you'd better be able to bloody his.




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