RE: Coworker who won't take no for an answer

["Sean Brierley" <sbrierley -at- Accu-Time -dot- com>]

I guess different people read this situation differently. Some see it as
harassment to the degree that HR intervention is needed immediately and
others see it as potentially a pedophile issue .... I recommend not
criticizing the advice of others in this matter, but leaving it to the
original poster to tell us more or to take and apply what has been
suggested.

Some examples of what I mean below:



-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+sbrierley=accu-time -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com

<snip>

<quote>Let's see, he's bugged her about this at least 10 times, called
her parenting skills into question, and made it obvious to her
coworkers. </quote>

He's bugged her. Should he be fired for bugging her? We don't really
know. I didn't read that he made it obvious to her coworkers that her
parenting skills were lacking. I read that it was obvious he had a
crush. Should he be fired for having a crush?

<snip> 

<quote>She's tried nice, and she's tried blunt, and neither has worked,
so at this stage,</quote>

I didn't read anything that indicated the original poster had been
blunt. Nowhere did I read she addressed the issue. I might have misread
the original post, but being direct is what I recommend at this point.

<snip>

<quote>I'm astonished that people will continue to excuse inappropriate
behavior because the perpetrator supposedly brings a lot of value to the
project... </quote>

You see, I have not read that position in any response. I honestly do
not remember anyone saying, "let him be inappropriate because he adds
value to the project, or anything like that."

<quote>it's the same kind of thing that excuses pro athletes, the uber
rich, and other celebrities from being accountable for actions that hurt
others. </quote>

See, I got the impression he was a geek. I did not get the impression he
is athletic or rich or such, and so I don't connect with the analogy.

<quote> He may be dense, </quote>

I suggested that. Maybe I am being dense, too. Based on the original
post, I don't see the need to escalate this until the original poster
has clearly and unambiguously directly discussed this with the offender.

<quote>but it's just as likely that he's never been held accountable for
bad actions, so he thinks he isn't doing anything wrong.</quote>

I read nothing that suggested that. I don't see the basis for that
conclusion.

<quote>  No one is irreplaceable, and not calling this guy on this does
Patricia, the project and this guy a disservice.</quote>

See, every reply I have read suggested calling the guy on this. I did
not read anything that said, let this go, or put up with it, or give in
, etc.

Isn't it weird how we can see such different things in the same
communication?

Cheers,

Sean

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